Monday, August 30, 2010

radio silence?

Today's reason why I love this woman so much is because she shamelessly cites National Public Radio programs on her blog. Terry Gross is my hero. Someone needs to teach me how to air interview so I can be the kind of rock star that woman is.

Lately I've been feeling really, really lukewarm about this whole blogging scene. I've been thinking a lot about what we say and why we put our voices into the world in the first place, Andy Warhol, Langston Hughes... my mind's a mash-up right now. I haven't lost any confidence in my voice, just perhaps some confidence in this space as a medium for it.

I suspect though, that there is something beautiful and good about the reality of speaking in hopes of an audience, and of listening in hopes of connection; some days we're not just yacking to hear the sounds of our voices, or listening to be entertained. Some days we're actually connecting.

... sigh.

Monday, August 23, 2010

I'd like a baby now, please

No, not me. My heart pounds and my ovaries scream in panic at the very thought.

But, I know a woman on this fantastic journey; she and her husband have just started trying to conceive. I am so glad I know her, so glad I still know her, so glad that she's chronicling her journey, and so SO glad I get to share it with you. Read her stuff at I'd like a baby now, please.

Lately I've been ricocheting about my thoughts about this blogging thing: not always sure how I feel about it from one day to the next, given some of the things I read, or write (or don't write). But this one, this makes me glad that there are people who do this.

Monday, August 16, 2010

silent does not mean static

"Consider Van Gogh. Among his many problems was... the cost of pigments. He couldn't afford the pigments he wanted and turned the lemons of poverty into lemonade by adding the sugar of precedent. He wrote to his brother Theo, who paid for his supplies, 'In case you should be a bit hard up, I could manage perfectly without the expensive blues and the carmine. One tube of Prussian blue yields as much as six of ultramarine or cobalt and costs six times less. Delacroix swore by that vulgar blue and used it often.' This is a prayer to Maya, the Hindu goddess whose name translates as illusion.

"Maya is a necessary god. We must maintain illusions. We must maintain the illusion that what we create matters and that we are not pointless, discardable energy packets but creatures every bit as valuable as our best sentences seduce us into believing that we are. We must create these adaptive illusions and then believe them, even though we know that we ourselves have created them. If you want to know why Existentialists call life absurd, this is why...

"Every honest, intelligent person will see through her adaptive illusions often enough. That isn't the main problem. Suddenly writing poetry or stage plays may seem meaningless and ridiculous to you. All right. That realization isn't the danger. The danger is that you will forget that you must maintain your illusions by force of will and that this moment must be met with a hearty Of course! I always knew that about poetry! Nothing new here! You must quickly argue yourself back into the belief that poetry matters--at least to you--or face a meaning crisis in proportions you do not want to contemplate."

--Eric Maisel, A Writer's Paris